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Everyone thinks about it at some point in their lives... "What would I do if I won the lottery?" Seriously, what would a person do? I've never met anyone that won any huge sum of money, but I've spent hours thinking about what I would do with it all.

There are obviously ideas such as donating to charity and taking care of my and my wife's families. But I'm thinking more on a ridiculous level. I'm thinking what I would do with millions of dollars to spend on things that will be fun. There's no reason to get serious in the context of this article because that's just not interesting to read.

Lottery ticket

If you remember in the movie, "It Could Happen To You" Nick Cage's character doesn't have money for his waitress' tip so he tells her that he will give her half his winnings if he won the lottery with the ticket he has. Long story short, he wins and gives her half of his winnings. In the same spirit as Cage's character, I always thought it would be nice to give a decent amount of money to the person that sold the ticket to me - Maybe $5000 or so. I don't want to go crazy because I don't know the person and I would hate to give tons of money to someone that is a terrible person.

I would probably start by buying my band a huge van with an equally huge trailer and some new gear. Granted, I'm not in an active band right now so I guess I would just be buying that stuff for myself to have, just in case. After that I would fund a new all ages venue in my home town and pay some solid people to run it. It's been a struggle for this town to keep something going so I would love to see it prosper as much as possible.

You know what I would do that would be ridiculous? Get my CDL and a flat-front tractor trailer, paint it like Optimus Prime and go on some Hasbro-sponsored tour. I would probably buy an old Voltswagon bug and paint it like Bumblebee to really hammer it home. I'm sure I would fly to England, you know, in my personal aircraft, Jetfire, to visit my friend Martyn. He and his wife just had a baby on Sept. 18th, so it would be great to see all of them. By the way, understand that when I say "I", I should be saying "we", referring to Brooke and myself, but a lot of these thoughts and ideas have been bouncing around in my head for years and years.

I think I would get Jason Statham's personal trainer too. Dude is built like a tank. I'm built like a loaf of bread.

Laser tag arena. What? You wouldn't do that?

Not last, but for the sake of making this article a reasonable length instead of a short story, I would buy a house in downtown Huntington, WV, for my friends to all stay in and to have smaller shows in the basement. It would also serve as a practice space for my band. If you're ridiculously rich, it's okay to act like a kid sometimes.

This entire article has been written off the top of my head. It probably reads a little strangely simply because it's written more in the way my thoughts work than in a manner that the Associated Press would present these ideas to their readers. But in a ridiculous way I find these sort of ideas to be an escape from the real-life bills, struggles and financial trials we face. I get caught up thinking about it all and it inevitably makes me smile. For that matter, I might not even do all of these things but, without a doubt, it would be epic.

-Dana



added 09.19.11

updated 09.19.11

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