Links Main Articles Interviews Blog Reviews Photos Links

Skyrim Through The Eyes Of A Hater

I don't like role playing games. I've tried quite a few of them and never been able to enjoy one. Before you ask, yes,I've played Final Fantasy VII and I quit after about 2.5 hours.

You might wonder why I'm trying to play Skyrim then. To put it simply, I gave in to the hype. I've talked to a lot of friends that love this game. I listen to a lot of gaming/nerdy podcasts and everyone is talking about how it's amazing. I've heard that it's the largest open-world game ever made. Most people I talk to have barely touched the main quest because they're having fun playing random, smaller quests.

After a few weeks of this, I thought to myself, "I have a weekend off and wouldn't mind taking a stab at this game." Then I realized that I could write all about it on CornZine. I broke it down by date and put a timestamp on every post.
- Dana White


21:58 - Xbox booted up, Skyrim loaded. I like the bootup. Just the Bethesda logo then the menu. It's a minimalist menu and looks solid. The music is really good. Here we go.

22:03 - I'm reminded that I haven't played the first 4 Elder Scrolls games.

22:10 - Picking a race.

22:29 - Finished designing character as closely to Techno Viking as I could.

22:31 - That dude just got his head chopped off.

23:00 - It's pretty slow so far. Once I level up a bit, I hear that it gets more exciting. I'm already calling it a night on this because I lose interest too quickly during this part of a lot of games. (ie - I fell asleep)

See the excitement?

13:35 - Back in it.

13:59 - Drinking tea.

14:09 - Got turned around. Wasted a bunch of time walking through the area from earlier.

14:14 - Walking around a lot. Sometimes I get to have really long conversations with dudes.

14:20 - Found a town. There are buildings. Lots of talking.

14:26 - Killed a chicken.

14:30 - Sidequest. Trying to get some guy a date with a girl that has a boyfriend. This feels like high school.

14:55 - Another side quest. I forgot to even pay attention to what the main quest was.

15:11 - It turns out that if you carry too much, you move at a snails pace.

15:28 - These guys like spiders.

15:39 - My little boy woke up. Saved and done until tonight.

21:23 - I leveled up to a level 2, almost level 3, and didn't even know it. Fear me, mine enemies.

21:36 - I'm reminded that the laptop I'm using is made for people with child-size hands and forgot what this update was going to be.

21:48 - Oh hey, I'm walking around some more.

21:49 - Stupid undead took me out.

21:55 - Chopped off the guy's legs that killed me a few minutes ago.

22:07 - I know a secret. That's what I was told anyway. I kind of want some chips.

22:15 - I'm running with a wolf. I feel like Glenn Danzig.

22:19 - Went swimming. Leveled up.

22:37 - Just discovered fast travel. Awesome.

22:45 - Walking around some more. This seems to be the main plot point.

23:05 - Mind-numbing boredom has set in.

23:06 - Done for the night.

I'm the wolf...  Howlin' all night.Not your average zombie.

12:37 - Wife just left to see a movie. Baby is asleep. Time for Skyrim.

12:43 - Immovable chicken!

12:52 - Horses, horses, horses, horses.

12:55 - Turns out, this horse can float. I'm not so sure it's supposed to.

13:05 - I just talked to 5 different guards that know I'm a "wanted man" but they were too lazy to deal with me.

13:21 - New town. That means lot of talking.

13:29 - I keep waking dudes up to talk to them.

13:58 - Let a guard take me to jail. Now I'm everyone's best friend.

14:04 - Thar be dragons!

14:26 - I love that I just ate a shopping cart's worth of groceries.

14:32 - That's a dead dragon, friend.

14:33 - Someone's upset that I killed the dragon and stole her thunder.

14:37 - The game goes back today. If someone loans me a copy, I will continue...

Horses, horses, horses, horses.It's like a pegasus.

added 12.03.11

updated 12.04.11

© 2011 CornZine. All Rights Reserved.

Our writers opinions might not reflect all of our opinions